I Will Get To Where I Want To Be

Just need to be less of a sleepy astigmatic kitty...



My eyes are going to be fine. That said, I know something is out of whack and if I just figure it out then my eyes will be better too! Positive feeling. I reread The Girl Who Chases The Wind in its majority with a friend and while it needs boneheaded error fixes in places...how did I replace gauze pads with gauge pads?...it is darn good and I wish I'd found a way to write more even with the definitive conclusion. There's so much to say and do with the idea. I want to revisit it. But Abby is first. Although I know the feeling of finishing Abby 5 is best expressed like this.



This is easily one of the hardest parts to write because I want to do it right. Wind had parts like that and I nailed them. I will nail this too but the path through these concluding words is challenging because it's a careful walk of tone and investment and structure.

To relax, here's a heady reflection on humanity, creation, and spirituality


~~~Philosophical Stuff Incoming~~~!

I'd rather believe a spirituality I made up myself than one worked out by people thousands of years ago. In fact my feeling is I don't want anyone else to believe in the Ae but me because it's just my own interpretation. I want to leave just the base ingredients to help people make their own denomination of spirituality. Open source spirituality.

Ae makes everything girls? Go for it. Ae is the Force from Star Wars? Sure!

For me, I feel it a bit wider. It's more basic human energy and potential with a source I don't even know for sure but it's like with the Alan Moore thing on words of power to me. Human beings are imbued with power. My name for that power is the Ae. For other divinities it's a spirit that comes from singular or various higher being. What I don't like however, for me is the complete subjugation to a higher power. I think humanity is transcendentally on par with the divine. Why? Because we have that potential.

We just need the will within ourselves to use it. I believe humanity as a whole makes the world around it. Basically, god/s in religion exist because human energy made them. This is something Neil Gaiman touches upon and so do others that the energy of worshipers actually brings power to spirits. These entities are brought into being through imagination and feeling.

The same is true of the Ae. It exists because I imagined it. And I imagine that it's always been there too. That's why it has been as well.

Words and thoughts and imagination are the symbols and totems which enable this existence. We are all Creators. But the problem is we decide to cede this power by feeling we have none or are subject to a greater power.

We are willing to let that power control us. Society. Others around us. And enough people who consent to the world that then exists create the status quo of reality. This is why thoughts are unthinkable in different eras. Ideas don't exist. They literally don't exist until someone brings them out and then they change the entire nature of what it means to be human. Some of this is symbolic in a way but it's also literally true in a weird sort of way.

So why I can’t change the world by thinking it? Because I’m only one head and there are over seven billion out there with their own ripples in the currents of reality. If I could somehow overcome that notion of smallness then one never knows what might happen in my life and the lives of others and same is true in everyone’s life. There is so much untapped, unrealized potential in every single ounce of every human being and a wellspring beyond measure in every one of them together.

I’ve mentioned the remarkable book To Marry Medua by Theodore Sturgeon but in that the whole of humanity is unified into a singular force with a focused idea. It’s both breathtaking and horrifying. No force in all the universes could possible match it.

All I ask then is you think about amazing ideas and the possibilities. You use your creativity. You push past what you think is possible to what you want with all your effort. You don’t let the way you think things are get in the way of any idea which you want to happen. You may not see results. You may see weird results. But don’t let anything stop you from what you want to happen in the world with every ounce of your energy.

I’ve been told that some of my stories change people. That’s good. My words are totems and symbols of my energy and feeling and desire put into a physical shape. My spells of sentences to make what I love come to be and what I dream appear before me, conjuring up a different world. May my words empower you now and always ^^.

~~~~END~~~~